| changes.unhappiness.happiness.stupidity.o0o it feels good...
it hurts now. mit hurts to know you yell. you tantalize my heart.it bleeds.y did i get myself into this. this mess?this eternal contentness with myself? o i love it...
my computer should be back soon. cant wait to write in it every day. |
| |
|
hey.wow i havent written in here in a while. i sorta seperated from it and now i dont know where to put my sadness.I try to be happy for everyone but it's to hard. Im not happy with so much and your the only good thing that happend..you changed...but your the only good thing. It's hard to put a smile and face the daily tasks when everything is against you. Everything right now is ok...just dandy...school is better im managing to keep everything up but then again the 2nd quarter just started,,,swim is hard since evan called me a screw up. i fucking hold records for him and work my ass every morning and he calls me a screw up...i think im quiting and tring for that stupid dance crap. im tired of swim. im tired of stuart.so much has changed in my life and when i wanna be alone i cant. stress is the main problem right now along with this town, im keeping promises but its hard.im only doing it for you...i would've still been doing it. The things no one knows keeps them gussing and i may look happy but im not, dont patronize me. Dont do shit becuase i like crring for myself. No one can feel the same pain i feel and i rather keep it that way. I wont ever wish for this dream to end becuase that means i need to back to reality... |
| |
|
wow with a "w" lately its been weird, i dont know how to control depression with compassion.
went to chill cookoff with silli amanda and elmer and greg. we saw sam and monkey. we had fun seeing jimmy eat world, switchfoot, the stokes, and some other bands,
seriously, why do you all try to do it, you attempt and tell me it wont work why waster 2 weeks but just to prove you wrong ill try harder, be llliiiive me,
it's like when i see you the barriars are being built slowly and everytime i try to just break them down theres somthing blocking me and i dont want that but it's everyone else thats in the way. but latly im realizing even more...
im on my feet.. im on the floor,im good to go all i need is to hear a song i know. i wanna always give a part of this is mine. i wanna fall in love tonight.. |
| |
| god damn why did u tell me this. now im just so confuzed. im happy.. but your riite. which sorta scares me. now im going to just ponder on your thoughts... |
| |
| not sure what i did to have u so angry but u r and im sorry. wish i could forgot or pretend but i cant. |
| |
